fake it till you make it..

Since August of last year, my life has been a whirl-wind of struggles, challenges, and new adventures. Since then, i have made AMAZING new friends, and learned SO MUCH about myself... however.. in the process, i have lost several of the people I "thought" were my friends...

It all starts last august on the was to Camp Destiny, my church camp. On the ride up there, things were great. I had my best friends all around me, i was on the cool bus.. however, little did i know that things would soon change, drastically. Let me just say, before i continue any further into this post, that in posting this, i am not trying to hurt anyone, i am not trying to rehash things and start new fights, the purpose of this post is to get some things off my chest.. and therefore i will not mention names. I hope i don't offend anyone.

anyways, back to camp 2010.....
as usual, there was drama at camp... i know, i know drama at a church camp... SHOCKER. but anyways, with a few lies, embelishments, specualations and rumors, events that were really no big deal became a huge deal and the reprocutions of this lasted, and are stil lasting into my everyday life.

after camp, the things and rumors that spread, and were then inflamed due to the ever fateful "lasagna day" went on to cause my life, and the lives of some of the closest people around me to become a living hell. Every day it seemed like there was something new, a new rumor, a new person stairing at you whilst you walked down the hallway at church.. although i relize that i did not have to go through anywhere NEAR the reprocutions of the lies that some people around me did, it did still effect me and hurt me.. and i hated it.


I was so mad that someone could effect me so much, i was so mad that someone would intentionally try to hurt me, and most of all... i was DEVASTATED by the fact that my "best friend" would maliciously and intentionally stab me in the back for making them "uncomfortable.." HORSE SHIT. since then, oh I'd say September 2010 I've had a really hard time with things. I've really started to mature as a person and i have begun to find out who "me" is; however, I've also found that i am a too forgiving, naive person. but i would hardly say that's a bad thing to be. I'm a lover, not a fighter, i try to see the good in everything.. and am way too forgiving.

in the end, I ended up losing my best friend along with several of the people that went olong with that friendship, however, in retrospect, i realize this could very possibly have been the best thing that eber happened to me. all the hurt and anguish i endured has fgone on to make me see the truth and help me transform into a stronger person.

In the end, I would like to rap up this post by saying... life is what you make it. Sometimes, you really have to fake it untill you make it. although i would be lying if i said that all the things that happened don't bother me anymore, i would mot be lying to say that i have become a strong enough person to overcome them.. i have tried very hard tonever let things bother me(because nobody likes a negative nancy) and because if i wallow in pity for myself, i will never over come anyhting. life is hard, you have to overcome it..

So let me just finish by saying that everyone has obstacles in their life, and they are all equally tragic and important in their own sense.. but the trick to being well-liked and staying happy is to not show that things are bothering you.. because showing you're enemy sadness.. only lets them win...

hey derrr..

Hello there! to all of you who may, or may not, be spending your precious time reading my blog. As you can see, this is the first post I have made to the blog I started way back in October in my marketing class (procrastination much?) lol. But alas, I  have decided to utilize this blog once and for all. I am not sure just yet what it's purpose will be.... I would like to say that it will be full of philosophical and meaningful thoughts, observations, and advice on the everyday life of the american teen... but c'mone.. awful lofty. In fact, as much as I do see a few post like that.. and i am in fact already working on my first meaningful post in my head.. I would say that there will probably be several post about just normal stuff.. ( ex. my cat, lunch, school.. etc.) I guess I will just always make it a surprise! Honestly, I see this working more as an e-journal. The Compbook for the 21st century.

I hope this serves me well! I encourage it to be read by many, I mean that is the point of a blog, right? and I hope to have my next post up soon! this is a personal project of mine.. and I hope it is a success. and if I ramble, well that's just my style.